October 25, 2011 by Dumi Gwebu
Here are the signs:
- His name starts with DJ.
- He drives a car with a name that ends with the letter W *hides at Hyundai*
- He owns Takeshy jeans. (And wears them with a Takeshy embelished T shirt, as a set) *vomits*
- He owns all 3 Pirates jerseys (home, away and training) and wears them when you go out.
- He’s got a Mohawk. If it’s dyed then he is a type A Douche.
- If his shirt has more than one collar, he is a double douche. There is no other explanation.
- He drinks Hennessy VSOP. (Douche No 1 drink)
- He calls all his ex girlfriends and all women in general Bitches.
- You only find Vodka and Chicken Licken hot wings in his fridge.
- When you visit him, you drive over Witkoppen Rd. (I’m sorry but that’s Doucheland)
- He owns a Louis Vuitton belt. (Fake of course)
- He is more intimate with his Blackberry than he is with you. Always smiling at it, pressing it in the right places.
- Although he is born and bred in Jozi, all his friends are Durbanites.
- He is over 16 but owns an Ed Hardy T-shirt.
- He is always wearing sunglasses. (Day, night, restaurants, clubs etc.)
- He owns a Gucci man bag, also known as Douche Bag.
- He still goes to ZAR. (Douche Academy)
- He is a goalkeeper (It doesn’t get “Douchier” than that.)
- He own a Spitz account aka Douche account. (Think abomakhothana)
- He owns more than one Drake CD. (Douche music)
By Dumi Gwebu