So everyone eventually has a problem with a scratched disc, and try those disc cleaners, disc doctors, etc, but none of them really worked for me, so back in the day whenever me and my brother lived in the same house, we used to have this conversation pretty much daily:
"Hey man, you wanna play a game?"
"Yeah! Which one?"
"What about [x]?"
"Yeah, go get it!"
And then the moment would happen, upon opening the case for Soul Calibur III or whatever game we wanted to play that day, a sudden fear would overwhelm my young body, and I'd think "No.. It cannot be!" As I took the disc out, and looked at the backside of it. It practically looked like someone got pissed and decided to rub sandpaper on the back of all of our video games in retaliation.
"Uh.. Bro?"
"Yeah?"
"Did we tick off anyone lately? Also, why is the disc glowing?"So we tried a few methods over the years, and none really seemed to work, except for maybe one that you'd never think of usually. It involved tooth paste, but not just any kind of tooth paste, plain white tooth paste without any of those little things in it. What the hell are those called? I have no idea but you probably know what I mean. My brother would get the toothpaste, and then it was time for a little home experiment.
We couldn't take the games to a nearby Gamestop, which was about an hour from where we lived, so we ghetto-rigged the games with toothpaste. It was always a very, very temporary solution, but it allowed us to get in a few rounds of whatever game we wanted to play, like Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style. Anyone remember that game? No? Maybe we were the only ones who played it, but I loved it, the soundtrack was awesome. Anyway, here we are, in the bathroom trying to rig this up, and it was always more tense than being a doctor helping someone give birth to a child.Seriously though, if you live near a Gamestop, and cannot afford the two or so dollars to do this, that you have to constantly apply toothpaste to get it to work for a short time, I really don't know what to say other than that there's probably some guy from 7/11 that wants a handjob. So what, you'll be stripped of your pride, but you'll get two dollars, and possibly a new friend! Get out of the house, you basement dwellers!
Another way I tried once, from advice that I heard online, was to stick the discs in the freezer, and somehow that'd fix them. I was skeptical, but I was 12 so I wasn't exactly the sharpest spoon in the drawer anyway, considering I thought I was the smartest guy in the world. Can you believe that? I actually thought it.. It took me years to know it.
Now, the people who told you to stick your VHS tapes in the toaster bring you their next idea..I remember telling my online friend Erik, also known as Vaati about it. For one, I can't remember where the name 'Vaati' is from, and for another, what kind of douchebag parents name their child 'Eric' with a k? My name is Kenny, and that's like if my parents named me Cenny. Don't get me wrong, if your name is Erik, you're still probably a douchebag, but I feel for you.
So I stuck my discs in the freezer for a while, hoping for a miracle.. And nothing. I waited a few more hours, and nothing happened. It just didn't work for me, and that was poop. I looked like a stupid twelve year old, the internet had tricked me again!
The last thing I ever tried was something called a 'Disc Doctor' and the title just PSYCHES you up, because all of that stuff you were doing at home before was just nothing compared to this. It was a doctor about the thing you were having problems with; Your disc! You know nothing's gonna get in your way because you're gonna let that doctor take complete advantage of your disc, but little did you know it was more dangerous than leaving your child alone with a pedophile.
And you cared more about the disc.
"Trust me, I'm a doctor."At this point, I can't lie, I was more excited than a child the night before Christmas, when it knows it's getting something it wants. A remote controlled car, a PS2, a dildo, etc. These things change on a boy's wishlist as he grows up, but once the dildo is in the picture, it becomes a staple to every list.
So it keeps making squeaky noises as you use it, and you have to spray that weird stuff on the disc, and turn it really slowly, but you know it's gonna work because if I need to remind you, it has freakin' doctor in the name. I was two inches away from trying to play my third copy of Final Fantasy IX (the reason why I had three, now four, is for another day), I pull out the disc calmly even though my nine year old mind was saying "LET'S GO GET HYPED UP ON SUGAR AND PLAY THIS", I pulled it out, and lo and behold..
It was exactly the same, but maybe a few more scratches.
At this point I just gave up. God didn't want me to play old video games anymore, probably because I didn't like going to church that often, and had rid me of my favorite Final Fantasy for it, leaving me only the (in my nine year old opinion) the boring Final Fantasy VIII, and the overrated Final Fantasy VII, which was still good, just overrated, and even then I couldn't get past one part where I had to go underwater because the creature 'Emerald WEAPON' also stated by my friend Dylan Lawson to be 'Jaws 2.0' was waiting for me, and chasing me, stalking me, along with that terrifying music. Whenever it pulled up to you, it felt like you were about to defecate yourself.
Someone who's never played FFVII's reaction: "What the hell is this green jumbled mess?"FF VII player's reaction: "OH GOD THE NIGHTMARES ARE COMING BACK TO ME"
Seriously, FF VII is it bad that I was looking through pictures of this guy and actually cringing at some of them? Anyway, back on what you actually probably wanted to read about.
Most of these methods just didn't work for me, and they all left me unsatisfied. That's just my two cents on it. I should've saved my two cents and just used it towards getting my discs cleaned, but there were some great memories involved with just using toothpaste and hoping for the best. I don't fall for these Disc Doctors or Disc Repair anything anymore. Just get someone to buffer it for you at a store.
