Thursday, November 24, 2011

What I want for Christmas

Well, you see, my readers, I absolutely hate it when people spend money on me, so I'm hoping to change that this Christmas. Family and friend (Brad), if you ever choose to get your majesty a gift, please, do not dare spend money on me..

Give the money to me instead.

dollars, cash, hundred dollars, money, green paperHave you ever wondered how to buy for an awkward 17 year old boy? Just give me money and I'll spend it on concerts and candy I love like Mike and Ikes. Yes, I will spend part of it on candy. Problem?

mike and ikes, candy, delicious, sweet, to die forSeriously, just try telling me you don't want any of those.

I'm waiting.

See? You can't. Mike and Ikes are delicious. I love all fruit flavored candy, honestly, I've never been much of a chocolate person, or anything else. I want to meet Mike and Ike behind an Olive Garden and have sex with them for bringing this joy into my life, and I'm not even gay, bi, or curious.

I think my dad reads this blog. 'Sup dad?

But anyway, I still need to figure out what I'm going to get my family and friend. I suppose a hug and a smile won't do it anymore, when your father gives you a hundred dollars for Christmas, and all you can really do is smile, say "Thanks dad!", and hope he'll treasure whatever you got him like gold.

My mom got me a little bank shaped like a treasure chest two years ago, I think. It had 50 golden dollar coins in it, and that was rad, especially when I'd embarrass Brad by taking the bank with me to places, since I didn't have a wallet, and I couldn't carry that many coins. I wish I had coins instead of dollars, that'd be pretty cool, even if it'd take a century and a half to pay for things.

Maybe I'm just getting old, but Christmas doesn't excite me in the way it used to anymore. I don't really find myself getting excited over the idea of gifts (even though I really do love every single one I get), but rather just everyone being in the same place, I like that a lot, since it feels like my family totally separated a few years ago.

As Mark Hoppus put it, I guess this is growing up.